


Pieces Solving A Puzzle

by orphan_account



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feels, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:41:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23173348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He couldn’t remember the exact moment that he fell in love with her. One day he just looked up and realized that he never wanted to live without her.
Relationships: Skye | Daisy Johnson/Grant Ward
Comments: 14
Kudos: 34





	Pieces Solving A Puzzle

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in my quarantine! Everybody please wash your hands and practice social distancing!

He couldn’t remember the exact moment that he fell in love with her. One day he just looked up and realized that he never wanted to live without her.

~

Grant Ward wasn’t really sure if he believed in love. 

He was aware it happened for some people. Good, nice people that felt content with settling down. People that felt like giving up on their ambitions to pursue trivial things like picket fences and happiness. 

So, sure, he believed in love for _some_ people. But certainly not him. 

He never really pictured his future in that sense. By the time he was twenty, he already knew that he would work for SHIELD (Specifically, Garrett) for the rest of his life. When he got the typical, “Where do you see yourself in ten years?” from his supervisors, marriage never crossed his mind.

And _forget_ noticing that emotion in his past. The only thing that came close was the protection he felt over his younger brother. And even then, Grant still hurt him. 

But it’s best not to dwell on that. It’s best not to dwell on love.

When he met Skye, he didn’t think of love. Not even a little bit. Irritation, sure. Distrust, definitely. But nothing close to love. 

He could admit that there might’ve been a little attraction when she jabbed him in the chest during her interrogation. But that was purely because she just happened to be pretty and, well, it’s been a while. It meant nothing.

To prove to himself that the attraction was fleeting and lacking in significance, he was a bit guarded with her. After all, the agent he was playing cared much more about the sanctity of the organization. Letting a hacker join ranks was _surely_ not a good call. Skye wasn’t an asset to the team, she was a liability. 

When they went to Peru, Grant made sure she knew it. He questioned her every move and didn’t give in to the hacker’s attempts at making peace. That didn’t mean she stopped trying, though.

He didn’t exactly share her world view. It seemed entirely too optimistic that everyone could pitch in to solve a problem. The idea of pieces solving a puzzle (nobody being alone) seemed nice but he didn’t see it as realistic. Until she proved it to him. All of them worked together to combat Reyes— nearly destroying the plain in the process.

Ward hated to admit it to himself, but he was impressed. When May asked him (at least he assumed she was asking him) to be Skye’s SO, it was his adrenaline at a job well done that made him agree. Skye was good at quick solutions. If he properly trained her, who knew what potential she had.

He was foolish to assume that she would commit herself to being an agent. She didn’t appreciate her relative strength training and called him numerous names. While he understood that they were attempts at jokes, he didn’t find them very funny. Skye pushed him. Asked him about his defining moment. And when he didn’t share (because _why_ did she insist on him opening up to her) she made another joke about the supposed truth serum he was under.

If SHIELD had a truth serum, his mission would’ve ended, obviously. He and Garrett would’ve been found out. Grant couldn’t use this evidence to plead his case to her so he tried to make it clear that he didn’t share anything. He was desperate to make it known that she never got under his skin. He wasn’t sure if that part was a lie or not.

And then, pulling off the impossible (yet again) Skye got herself an invite into Quinn’s party. Coulson agreed to let her go in. _Alone._ Nobody listened to Ward’s protests. She was going to die. He knew he had to teach her something to protect herself from what was about to be a disastrous mission. He tried to teach her how to disarm someone. 

Having her pressed up against him didn’t exactly feel bad. But Ward already clarified to himself that it was because it’s been a while. It meant nothing. She kept making jokes about the position they were in which made him fucking pissed. He told her how she was going to die and leave them out to dry. She was going to destroy the mission and hurt herself. And she made a comment that fueled his anger even more. 

_”I’m sorry, I’m not naturally… whatever you are.”_

Ha. Ward wishes. Natural. As if this wasn’t beat into him. As if he wasn’t made to be a weapon by every person in his life. So he told her. The short and simple version; The almost-lie about his brothers. He made the story a bit better, so he could feel less like a villain. 

Skye apologized. She said she didn’t mean to push (she obviously did) and then teasingly held out his gun. It made his anger disappear into something else, though he wasn’t exactly sure what.

When she inevitably needed saving, he felt a need to protect her flare up in his chest. Later, he chided himself. It was just his nature, he’s had to look after other people for a long time. It had nothing to do with her. It meant nothing.

She opened up to him, which was what he needed to aid his mission. Her story about the foster system meant something to him. Not that he could completely relate, he grew up with parents. But he understood what it felt like to always be alone. Hopefully this meant that Skye will officially devote herself to her training.

Ward still didn’t exactly have faith in her. She still said stuff that made him want to face palm. Her lack of professionalism gave him a headache. When she and the science twins practically got ran over he advocated for their rest from the mission.

Of course she had to prove him wrong. She directed him through a mission, even the awkward moments. Trying to, “bromance,” a dude by talking about a threesome Ward had with Ukrainian girls was probably not his finest moment. He prayed she didn’t speak Russian. 

He let her see small parts of him. Not parts of Agent Ward, but Grant. Which meant she thoroughly kicked his ass at Battleship. He was enjoying it, surprisingly. She made him smile, a feat which even he knew could not be accomplished easily.

And then he felt stupid for letting the mask slip. Skye had a secret boyfriend that she abandoned the mission to have sex with. He reminded himself of where the two of them stood. She was a liability and she betrayed them. His hatred for Miles was strictly on principle. He wasn’t jealous, he hadn’t grown to care for the girl at all. It meant nothing.

Ward went back to being guarded around her. He knew he had to stick to the mission again. He jumped out of a plane to save Simmons. The team stopped making fun of him and they all accepted him as their own. It was easy.

Going on a solo mission with Fitz (orchestrated by Garrett, of course) was just what he needed. Getting away from the Bus and Skye really helped him devote his energy to the young man. Fitz didn’t trust him and probably felt jealous. Fitz then saved the day and helped the mission immensely, bonding the two men.

When Skye welcomed him back, he ignored the feelings in his chest. She joked around with him and he found himself hating her humor less. It was a dangerous game he was playing. Being gone from her made him almost miss her. Which was absolutely unacceptable and he had no idea what it meant.

Grant was then forced to relive one of the worst days of his life. Everyone saw it. Everyone saw him lose it. He felt like breaking down constantly. The rage he usually felt simmering under his skin began to consume and suffocate him. Skye welcomed it. She wanted to talk to him, wanted him to open up to her. He desperately needed to. Ward wanted it more than he’s ever allowed himself to want anything.

Which is why he knew he should never have it.

He slept with May instead. Honestly, it was probably a good decision concerning the mission. John would be proud. And, frankly, it’s been far too long since the last time he’s had sex. 

It was also good for him. Grant knew he had to try to forget about Skye because it’s been increasingly hard to get her out of his head. But if he admitted he was trying to get over her, he would have to admit he had feelings for her. And he absolutely did not want to have feelings for her.

Skye impresses him again with her empathy. She manages to help save a young woman from a ghost haunting her. Or so he heard from May. He kind of spent most of that mission locked in a closet.

Garrett’s team kidnapped Coulson. Skye was kicked off the plane. He broke the rules a bit and helped her escape custody. (Garrett would not be proud of that. Coulson wasn’t supposed to have been found.) Skye did it all on her own. He couldn’t help but admire her.

They went to the Sci-Opps academy. The team worked together yet again to save a girl while Fitzsimmons gave a lecture. No one person was the solution, just as Skye predicted. She even complimented him on a rare display of empathy he had. Clearly, he’s been spending too much time with these people.

After she learned more about her past, she returned to the wall of valor that he showed her. He watched her touch the names. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to stand there, to keep her company. It was almost like he wanted to protect her, again. From what, he wasn’t sure. He had no idea what it meant.

Apparently, May told Coulson about them sleeping together. Which kind of blindsided him but he knew he had to talk to the supervisor about it. It appeared Coulson had little faith in his ability to keep his emotions in check. Their talk got cut off by a very bloody and pissed off May. They went to the empty train to find the rest of the team.

Again, Ward felt like he was having the worst day of his life. 

Skye was shot. He was the one that found her.

He was going to lose her. Skye was going to die.

They had to rush her to a secure facility. His hands were shaking. His hands have never shook once in his entire career. He felt like he was panicking for the first time since Garrett taught him how to be a man.

He never meant for any of this to happen. He never meant to get close to her. Ward never wanted her to get hurt. While he sat in the waiting room, he could only remember snapshots of their time together. 

How she would drink beer with him after a mission. How she complained during every push-up. How she begged him to help her cook and clean. How she told him about growing up alone. How he told her about the academy and missions. All of her attempts to make him smile and his attempts to make her happy. 

Ward could no longer tell himself that it meant nothing. Nor could he tell himself that he didn’t know what it meant. 

Garrett came to the team. Ward acted like he was okay with the team meeting him. He never wanted his two lives to collide. They finally found the drug that saved Coulson, the one that could save Garrett. Ward hoped it could save Skye, too.

It felt like his world was starting again when he saw her awake. She was joking with him like she used to. Skye was safe and _alive_ and it was hard to swallow how scared he was. 

Then, of course, he basically got roofied and assaulted (in SHIELD terms, mind controlled) by an Asgardian woman with serious attention issues. She forced him to tell her everything, so he did. He told her about his childhood and Garrett’s plan and his feelings for Skye. Lorelei chose to disclose the latter to May.

May ended things. He had no outlet for the frustration he felt towards Skye. Ward wanted to pretend it was just that— sexual frustration. But it was getting harder and harder to fool himself about his emotions.

Ward shot someone for her. An innocent man named Thomas Nash. And it’s sick, how desperate he was to kill for her. To protect her. He deserved to be punished for it. By SHIELD and Garrett alike. 

When they had to blow up the hub, Grant knew it was a call to action. His facade would likely end soon. It was foolish and immature but he just _had_ to know if she felt the same for him. He had to know if this whole charade was one-sided. So he asked her out. Ward finally gave into allowing himself to want something.

Skye kissed him. And it wasn’t anything to write home about, it was just a peck. But it had a promise of so much more and he had been dreaming about this girl for months. So he allowed himself, just a little, to feel happy. It took him a second to wipe the smug smirk off his own face. It was time to focus. He was a soldier.

Garrett needed saving so Ward shot Victoria Hand. Everything was sort of working out. He was fulfilling his debt to Garrett and he sort of got the girl. She even flirted with him over the phone. It felt nice, more than nice. It felt great. Even if he knew it was going to end soon.

When Garrett gave him the order to get the information from Skye, Ward’s stomach churned. He so desperately wanted to be around her, to protect her. If he gave Skye to Garrett she would not be protected. It shouldn’t matter. The mission was more important.

Ward saw her again, at providence. Her smile made something intimate and warm unfurl inside him. He missed her. 

He was put through a lie detector test and he definitely didn’t pass (why would he?) until Agent Koenig asked him about Skye. It was time for him to bare his truth yet again. He had to cross Koenig off because he was going to find out about his true allegiance. Ward indulged himself one last time with Skye.

He told her about how he felt nothing for May. And how hard it was to pretend he felt nothing for her.

_”You can’t choose to feel”_

_“Usually I can.”_

He told her about his small lie. About how he really _was_ the villain in the story of his brothers. And she didn’t care. It made him wish she wouldn’t care about how he was the villain in her story, too.

This time, he kissed her. It was selfish of him, but he was a selfish man. He allowed all of his emotions and need to protect her come up. Ward never wanted her to get hurt again. He wanted to stay there and kiss her until the sun came up.

But he was never allowed out of the dark for long. Skye found blood on his ear. Koenig’s blood, but she didn’t know that. He made up an excuse and went to go wash it off. He splashed his face, too. A small reminder of what he should be focusing on. Garrett was more important.

Ward had momentary anxiety when he couldn’t find her but when he did his heart soared once again. He told her a lie (again) to get her to decrypt the hard drive. 

She kissed him. This one felt different, though he wasn’t sure why. Skye sort of threw herself into it, which was different from how she kissed before. But, hey, he’s only kissed this girl three times, maybe he’ll get to learn all of the different ways she kisses. He’d like to do that.

He’d also like to hold her hand. It feels strange, acting on small desires. But the two of them walk out of the base hand in hand.

Ward gave himself permission to flirt with her. To hug her. To feel her pressed up against him and actually enjoy it. They were sitting in a cafe and she jokingly called him her boyfriend. Everything felt perfect.

Until he found out she was playing him.

Having Skye fight him like she was fighting an enemy (someone she hated) hurt more than anything. His eyes were glassy as he begged her to understand. He wasn’t a bad guy, it didn’t mean anything personal. He owed Garrett his life and that meant following orders, no matter what they were.

She still saved his life when Peterson stopped his heart. That’s part of the reason he cares for her. Her empathy runs so deep. She’s so… good. And she hates him. When Coulson saves her, she can only look at Ward with disgust.

It was go-time. His cover was blown and Garrett was dying (and possibly going crazy). He had to drop Fitzsimmons in the ocean, two innocent people who he could only hope would survive. His orders were to put two bullets in their heads but he was never good at hurting the innocent.

He had one last chance to take out the team and save the only man who has ever cared for him. It didn’t work. He was put against May, a person he could never defeat in hand to hand combat. 

He was arrested. 

Garrett was killed.

It was all for nothing. 

~

Ward was sitting in his cell when Coulson walked down the steps of Vault D. Every day, it was the same routine. Coulson would sit in the metal chair and ask him questions about hydra and Garrett. Ward said nothing and tuned the man out, much more focused on the inner turmoil he felt. Facing Garrett’s death was one of the hardest things he’s ever done.

Ward never asked for any of this to happen. He never wanted to have feelings for Skye. They didn’t even plan for her to be on the team. She was supposed to irritate him, to anger him. He was supposed to solely be a disciplinary figure in her life. Nothing more.

And, yet, sitting here, in his stupid pants that are missing the buttons, he finally realized it. Everything came together. Somewhere between the inside jokes and small touches and innocent kisses, he had fallen in love with Skye.

Ward spoke for the first time in months, his voice coming out raspy and dry.

_”I will only talk to Skye. If you want information, I’ll tell her anything she wants to know.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, it’s been a while! 
> 
> Not to overshare but my girlfriend broke up with me last November so it’s been hard to write about a relationship when I’m not in one.
> 
> I can’t promise that my uploading will be regular but I have tons of ideas I’m circulating through and working on! I’m just battling through a really intense writer’s block and a lot of personal stuff.
> 
> If you’ve been with me on this journey, thank you for always reading, it means so so much!!!!!


End file.
